Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Day 312: Apologized For Being A Bully As A Child

366 Random Acts was created as a way for me to set a positive example for my daughter and as a way for her to put others before herself.  I want Isla to grow up as someone who lives by the Golden Rule and treats each and every person she meets in her life with the utmost love and respect.  One of ways that I am going to best be able to raise Isla in this way is to look back through my own life, see mistakes I have made and teach her to avoid and learn from them.  

As I've said on here before, I've always been pretty positive and good-natured, and that was true even going back to my childhood.  However, after doing some pretty serious introspection, I realized that there were instances where I didn't act in a way that I want Isla to act.  Maybe it had to do with my own insecurities or maybe it was my own (albeit terrible) way of dealing with the anger that I had from my parents divorcing, but in looking back at myself in elementary school, I was sometimes a verbal bully.  I'd join in or even lead groups of people in lobbing insults and horrible nicknames at fellow classmates who weren't in my "clique" of friends.  I was really Jekyll and Hyde because when I wasn't among a group of my peers, I would never think to act that way.  My mom always raised me to treat others respectfully and looking back, it seems as though I let her down from time to time.  Now I could chalk it up to youthful ignorance, but I know that I won't take that excuse from Isla when she is older. When I watch the news and I keep seeing story after story of these kids who turn to suicide from being bullied, I am thankful that my words never lead to that but am saddened that it even could have happened.  I wanted to let the people that I tormented know that I was extremely sorry for the way that I acted.  So today, for my random act of kindness, I apologized to them for being a bully as a child.  If you or anyone that you know is affected by bullying (or is the bully themselves), please visit one of the following sites for help, advice, outlets to help.


  1. Good for you! This is an amazing blog! So happy to find it. We made ARK (Acts of Random Kindess) jars or boxes to fill trying to help children learn to do service.

  2. Good for you for taking the time to really apologize for your actions as a child. I was bullied in elementary school and it's not fun. There were three girls that made my life a nightmare! From the moment I walked into the building and for three years non-stop, only by then, it was pretty much everyone that was in on it. They made me afraid to even speak out loud in front of the class. Once, I remember sitting at the lunch table, picking at my food, when everyone at the table joined in on the fun. I found myself, unable to speak, or even focus clearly. My ears popped, and I couldn't hear anything, the room was spinning. I could see their faces and their lips moving. I looked at the teacher in hopes that she would make them stop but she said nothing to the others. She was in on it too. I am just now coming out of my shell. I kinda have no other choice with three little boys and a sick mother who need me. I can say hi to a stranger at the grocery store or a cashier now, but 12 years ago, I wouldn't been able to do that despite the fact that that happened back in 1-3 grade. It stuck with me for a really long time. So thank you for apologizing to your victims.. It shows how much you've changed and grown and it really does set a good example for your daughter! Bless you!

  3. Ryan... I know that I am late to the party, so to say. I just found this site. I didn't know if I should post here or not, but figured I would leave that up to you. Words can definitely cause pain at deep levels that last for years. I know that as much as I heard "sticks and stones" as a child, words still hurt. I definitely did not escape the pain of them. Though, I thought over the years I had been healed and set free from that pain, I must admit, I think I was just free'd up from some resentment that must have been left over, while I read your post. Thank you for posting this Ryan. I know your daughter will have alot to be proud of in her dad as she grows up. Anyway... Love and blessings on ya dude!